4 words: hood of his car
he thought i was a dude.
woke up to 35 texts all saying im cheating on her
me and last nights hook up spent two hr. figuring out a reply we went with i love you..
if we dont hook up this weekend, im doing both his roommates
Just because he's a soilder doesn't mean his dick is a hero.
It's when I'm in my pajamas and in need of a gin delivery that I miss NYC most of all.
and he said i stripped him down, hand cuffed him to his bed post, and tickled his arm pits, and then continued to watch The Hangover.
no, i remember trying to staple my nipples together. I just can't figure out where the hell stapler came from.
we've had our differences but let's set them aside, go home and fuck
The look on the dr's face when she asked me the last time i had sex and i responded "like an hour and a half ago" ... priceless
Do one night stands count towards my number?
Yes. A penis is a penis
Even bad ones?
YES.
It was 16 hours of liver killing mistake making goodness
Your poor dick will look at you and scowl for all the abuse he's going to take this week.
I'll have a whole suitcase of emergency bacon with me obviously
its hard to say precisely how it happened, but the next thing i knew i was on top of a mountain
Randomize
