AHHHH!!! note to self never google image chastity belt omfg
oh fat girl friday strikes again...
I just walked in on my roommate beating off with no pants on, an unbuttoned hawaiian shirt and a cowboy hat, and he weights 300 pounds
there r dinosaurs outside my house i hear them
pretty sure those are just snow plows....go back to bed
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I'm having post traumatic stress flashbacks of last night. That big. Don't know whether to call him again or change my name...
I don't know how it happened, one minute we were talking about Huck Finn, the next minute I was blowing him behind the corner of his apartment building.
The vomit I understand but how is there seaweed in my bed?
I'll come out for a little. I can't be visibly hungover at work again or I get written up and fired. And yes, I am aware of how alcoholic that sounds.
You know me. im down for anything that could harm my well being. lets dress like dolphins so everyone will see what dicks they are.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
im actually so stoned and hungover i feel like a bag of jello stuffed into a human shape
I feel like there should be a database and you screen your boyfriend's scrotum and all the fucked up shit they've done goes on file.
but dude how did I get so drunk?
Pretty sure it happened right after you poured a shot of Wild Turkey into your Budweiser, chugged it, and screamed "I. NEVER. BACK. DOWN!"
part of it says your brother mayyyy have put his lips on my vagina
Clothing is a burden necessitated by propriety.
I've started recycling nudes. Why should I take new pictures for every single man?
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