I ride home in a shopping cart. Don't at like you aren't jealous.
He had an itunes playlist named "def not Glee season 1" which contained all of Glee season 1
I just blew my nose and little bits of weed came out.
I demanded respect from my fuck buddy. Drunk me is not fun.
If you could come over after class and poke me with a stick to see if im still alive id really appreciate it
He puked in the funnel and continued to chug it. Who is this dude?
we left the music on while we were fucking. some kanye west song started playing and he started to cry
A man and his most likely hooker just bought us Taco Bell.
Is it possible to rally from a drunken seizure?
He asked me not to hook up with anyone else because it would hurt his feelings.. while his arm was around his pregnant girlfriend.
i wore just an American flag as my costume-huge success. 20 people pledged allegiance to my ass including a senior frat boy at the keg. God bless America.
Not only did she fulfill a life long dream of mine of banging in a library, she bought me subway for lunch. I feel like I got the best gold star ever today.
Lexi was drunk enough at 2pm to say "fuck tom brady and fuck you too" to literally every person at the store in Pats attire.
Is it too much to ask for 10 minutes of privacy while I masturbate?
dude can you explain to me why i woke up on your sisters floor with moutain dew and chips everywhere
i dont know im at your house.
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