Applied 4 a nanny job usin a Legit Site. Xplain to me how the couple I found offered me a 3some complete with 'sexy pics' of the wife blowin hubby. wtf?
obviously you're part succubus.
Even if you were sober, spitters are STILL quitters, end of story.
I'm so hungover that the internet is hard.
Just called my mom. She definitely saw all those fb statuses so thanks for that.
Haha did she know what fisting meant?
Yeah. Which is upsetting in itself
Don't you ever say "drinking at 2" as if it's a bad thing again. I'm asking you as a friend here.
He went down on me and then slapped my ass saying "thanks for the confidence boost"... is this all I'm good for?
Yes. Yes. Double yes. I'll bring the tits. You bring the frosting.
Went to the strip club with my aunt. Do you know how hard it is to be a pervert in front of your female family members?
Please high five our old drug dealer for me please.
I think we should take up crocheing or stamp collecting....something completely lacking penises
I think my ph in my vagina is actually off from the lack of sex I've had this break compared to finals week.
It's funny because every time I go up and down the stairs it's an adventure. A A DRUNK ADVENTURE. PS I ALREADY THREW UP WTF
"I'm pretty sure all our toasts were to Ben Afflecks penis last night."
Someone fucked a stripper in their rental car, there is goddamn glitter everywhere.
HOLY SHIT HOLY SHIT HOLY SHIT HOLY SHIT
So I just ran in to the Couger you saw me take home last month who i haven't talked to since then at Wawa and she was PISSED.. APPARENTLY i fucked her niece last week
Randomize
