Operation extremely regretful is in full effect
He looks like Jesus, if Jesus had let himself go.
Firetruck pulls up, fireman jumps out n knocks on my door, asks "do you know where Johnny lives?"
you threw up in someones recycling bin and left a note apologizing. how drunk do you think you were?!
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Do you remember calling me a cuntasaurus rex last night?
Party was cancelled. Me and my dog are high as tits. Wanna go roam the outlet mall?
Will you push me around in a wheel chair, introduce me to people, and say nothing as I get up and walk away?
I feel like if Miami and New Jersey fucked each other and produced a baby that would summarize the bar I'm in.
WHY DID I INFORM THE ENTIRE BATHROOM I DONT HAVE AN STD?!?!?!!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Ever walked into a basement full of 10 guys jerking it to a live stripper? Cause I have. Always confirm the address of a house party. Always.
I have nothing to say other than the obvious 'we probably shouldn't have done that' and the less obvious 'i think you bruised my labia major' ...?
Yes. Ice cream tacos are an important aspect in the bridge of friendship
I can check masterbating in China off the bucket list.
The time stamp on this text message is reason enough alone to not leave me unsupervised
We had sex on the tiger blanket while I was wearing my Ukrainian shirt and my ass touched the Ukrainian flag. Happy 25th Ukraine!
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