My parents took my cat for a ride in the car. Second weekend in a row. They think its fun. Dear God
This is how scared I get when I ride roller coasters. And how scared I was when I had to poop when I had herpes.
:)
Wipe that smile off your face.
Just found 2 diff. colored pubes in my underwear..new record.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
just graduated on the spot on the quad where I vommed freshman year. full circle
i just got cum up my nose. i would have expected more from the captain of the men's lacrosse team
you were crying while pretty ricky was playing, what did you want me to do
u got into a flexing contest with a dude in bathroom in the mirror at the club
I'm gonna hire strippers dressed like the founding fathers.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I actually want to work out for some reason... I think it's my brains way of telling me it doesn't like living in a fat body.
My only positive piece of news is that my roommate is moving home for the summer, so our stress-relief sex will be much easier to get away with.
Just stuck all that extra cocaine money we made in a savings account...like a responsible adult..
Jesus christ. I put you on speaker when you called me last night and you told me to brush my teeth with a dick.
I think I may have just hit a new slutty low! ..... Just purchased the Costco pack of condoms... $9.99/48 pack = amazing deal! The judgement when I bust out the value pack = priceless!!!
This is the third time I have overheard parents tell their children "don't be that girl" in reference to me. I'm either doing something horribly wrong or amazingly right
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