apparently, it's not a good idea to make jokes about sending newborns through airport security xrays. the moms dont see the humor.
But why'd she put it on the conveyor then?
i am not above fucking your little sister on your bed
do you ever lay in the bath and watch the blood hit the water?
EWW. Don't discuss your period with me. You can go shave your back now.
Let's just be mature adults about last night and never speak of it again.
the people next to us in line are buying a 12 pack and a snuggie
...then she kept trying to make balloon animals with my flacid penis. I'm never drinking whisky with you again.
I was expecting a blowjob when she shoved me in the bathroom but instead she shaved my pubes into a mustache for my penis. I am still satisfied.
I may have tried to encourage people to play a new game I invented last night. I called it Super Quarters. Like regular quarters, only using an AA medallion.
I'm on my way back with the wine... And a puppy. It was free.
Watching my ex make out with another girl is weird.
But she's wearing a jumpsuit so I feel better.
Mom just told me I need to start having sex.
Leave it to me to sleep w a guy who gets poison ivy on his dick
Are you seriously getting this frustrated over a hand-job right now?
Why is there a waffle in the knife drawer?
The real question is why are there knives in the waffle drawer.
Who brings a stripper to breakfast at the dining hall? What was the plan? Impress her with his meal plan?
Randomize
