one word: firstdatebathroomanal
Jeremys mom is here. I gave her mad jello shots and now were griding. ima give it to her: ultimate payback for him fucking my gf.
i'm going through the NYU 2014 group looking for future drunken hookups. too slutty?
just paid a stripper to have a minute conversation about the arizona game WTF
I'm afraid my bank account can't handle syllabus week.
i wish that every time i slipped on a sheet of ice i had the ability to recover with a michael jackson move
like we started out all organized and composed and within thirty mins people were throwing up in the bushes, arguing over a beer bong and jumping in the pool with their clothes on
These old men are woofing at me..PLEASE HURRY
You kept showing the cop the bruises on the bottoms of your feet and claiming you were a medical mystery.
He was the one that got away. From my vagina.
She tried to beat him up using a half gallon of Bacardi, instead she got tangled in Kayla's hanging bra and broke a lamp. She can party with us anytime.
Last night was incredible. I can tell by the nacho cheese on my jacket
He complimented the perfect handprints you left on each of my ass cheeks.Thanks.
Let this be a lesson to you, parmesan cheese crumbles are not a good substitute for coffee creamer, no matter how high you are
Pillow talk was a high five, this morning she made dinosaur muffins for the house. I love chapel hill
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