I'm totally gay for Miss Californiaaaaaa
oh sweet, sweet irony
I just caught my mom fingering herself in the bathroom...Im moving out.
Grab the Coors Light. Its time to get NASCAR drunk
you ever fart during an orgasm? feels like u just lost 10 pounds
I seriously think I have a tan line on my stomach from getting a boner while in the taning bed.
Hu mahhiw im so tired.i just got done. In fo dleepu. Aaaaaaahh. I qisj my mom filmed me. In axtunf so funny
did we cross streams again? the only thing I remember is seeing a dick
at the time it didn't seem likely that you would ever find the cake in your underwear
Skip school. Seven hour blow job Plus Disney movies. Day of champions
I'm a sociology major remember
Well that and comm
Basically you majored in how to get laid
In the middle of me riding him, he stopped me and said "You're the kind of person who would be restrained for being obnoxiously drunk on an airplane, huh?"
Is it really bad that my last patient offered to fuck my brains out if I gave her IV morphine...and I gave her my phone number and told her when my shift is over?
I may have just sent her dad a picture of my penis. His name's Myron, right?
I was masturbating and a roofer walked past my bedroom window.
I just volunteered myself to get tazed this should get interesting
Randomize
