I either just heard my neighbors having sex or she really agreed with whatever he was talking about.
just put cider in my bong. gotta love fall
i went through the entire semester and only just now realized there's a girl in my history class that i've hooked up with.
i don't know where i am. i made bad decisions. i think this guy is dead.
she just came into my room, drunkenly shoved six dollars into my bra and told me to spend it on chicken wings.
Swallowing. Like you said. Lions. Always.
i'm drinking whiskey out of a ziplock bag in a movie theater. i'm THAT girl.
We're like Siamese twins, but joined at the genitals.
You got a blow job by a girl whose nickname is "the terrible tooth"?! You are a brave man.
I know everytime I get my paycheck I'm like "I should probably renew my gym membership" and then I just buy more alcohol
It was like giving head to a cactus.
The kind of drunk where you put two tampons in thinking that it'll last me longer ...
Almost ran out to the street bowl in hand when I hear the ice cream truck pull up outside.
Everything about that text makes me proud to be your sister.
Worst sex ever! He was a talker for sure! I was on top and out of no where he said "Oh you bad bitch?" I stopped and left.
I'll bring spiced rum
I am not drinking that devil juice
Randomize
