k, so I just picked a four leaf clover, then saw my dads penis. Lucky? I think not.
he was wearing 3D glasses the whole time.
Some kid just walked into class with his schedlue written on a keystone box.
I hope making "real" money at your "real" job is worth it because you totally missed beer and dorrito mac n cheese tuesday.
i mad aa ber float. budweiser nd ice creem. it amzig.
Well I squeegeed the puke off your arm at the gas station
Thanksgiving. This year's theme: I am thankful that I still have a liver.
Think of where it's been though. That Dr. Suess book, "Oh the Places You'll go" was written for his penis.
Im going to make a sandwich and see if my books came from amazon. I cant believe two years ago i was dating eight guys and teaching russian exchange students how to do shots.
Just woke up with an eye that wont open, a half eaten piece of pizza on my chest and a raging boner.
I found his belly button lint in my hair. Can't say it was worth it.
Strange request but for my birthday you should get me one of those vibrators that you can plug into your iPod that go along with the music.
HEY JUST FOUND A SHIT TON OF MONEY IN THE PURSE HE SENT BRB GONNA GO BUY ME SOME MALE STRIPPERS AND BATHE IN THESE TWENTY DOLLAR BILLS
How was my night? He had a picture of his mom on his night stand and he yelled "Papi like" when he came. Fuck tequila.
I smell like heartbreak.
Tequila and sloppy rebound sex?
How did you know?
Randomize
