yo i have your phone
... oh so you probably won't get this message
Alex, there's no such thing as a fancy sex store.
it's like there's an entire ecosystem in your vagina.
I just woke up to my FedEx of contacts I've been waiting for for about a week and my hungover ass went to the bathroom and used beer instead of contact solution.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
so I told him I hadn't been laid since Bush was president. Right after he cums, he says "Welcome to the Obama Administration".
You kept telling me to "raw dog" your take home breathalyzer without the mouthpiece
she just came into my room, drunkenly shoved six dollars into my bra and told me to spend it on chicken wings.
Well, there are worse ways to make $50 at a gay club.
while you laid on the ground I poured water into your mouth out of dog bowl some random guy walks by and said now that's what I like to see.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Everybody knows the last week of summer internships include showing up to the office hammered and hitting on the CEO
I woke up five hours later with a mouthful of Jimmy John's while clinging to my sandwich.
nothing like a call from your drunk grandpa at midnight on a wednesday to ask your parents if you're registered to vote...
I texted him 3 days ago he said he was pre gaming for the Super Bowl today he just text" gtomajg kaka hee 48!!!"
For someone who wanted a break I'm getting way to much dick
whatever. i don't need to be drunk to tell you i'd suck your dick if you had one.
Randomize