I don't even know what he looks like, all i've seen of him is his dick
the rest of him looks just as crooked
Mother nature decided I wasn't going to be a whore today. Fuck her.
yes, we have a friends with benefits thing. i found out he had never 69'd, done anal or had a threesome. i told him i was going to rock his world.
and what did he say?
there were no words. he looked like a kid on christmas morning.
I just saw a sign that said "STRIPPERS!!! As seen on Jerry Springer!". As if Springer is the highest honor. I'm pretty sure we're in south Georgia.
hey, its the girl who gave you a bloody nose and paid you back with a blow job. have you seen my shoes?
A 40 year old man just put his hands on my thighs and said in these exact words "you're so beautiful and gorgeous and innocent. But life sucks and you'll probably turn into a whore."
I think its pretty common. 1 out of every 4 people probably have a stripper's phone # in their phone.
THIS ISN'T WORKING THIS IS THE DRUNK LEADING THE DRUNK
Awkward moment: seeing and saying hey to the MILF you're sleeping with while shopping with your mother and sister.
You rolled around on the floor, yelled about being a "half-zombie" and bit that guy on the leg who was hitting on me.
You're just gonna have to make the sacrifice man.
I'm trying to hide in the table.
I puked and rallied in front of a cop...and then waved at him....
The only way I'll cross anything off my to do list today is if I write 'eat melted cheese' on it
I knew my sister shouldn't have gone to the bacherlotte party. Two of the other brides maids have black eyes and my fiancé called me and asked if this is the crazy she's marrying
She's seen your dick through your pants. You don't need to ask
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