I'm not saying I want a booty call. I just want what Cory and Topanga had.
benefit of terrorism--they won't let you buy random one way plane tickets to random parts of the country for no reason nonmatter how high you are.
on of the only things i remember was the security guard told me i was too drunk for laser tag.
Haha, you kept saying the cop was going to give you a ride home b/c "that's his job, it's summer."
His ankle bracelet went off in the middle of sex. That makes a girl reevaluate her life...
My phone now knows what I type and it prompts me with frequently used words. And anytime I use "and" and hit the space key two of the words are "unicorn" and "sausage"
The best part of my day was getting high in the parking lot of the movie theater and taking pics in the photo booth with the caption "CONGRATULATIONS!" we geeked out because it congratulated us for getting high
We kept trying to bring you to the hospital but you had a tantrum and kept saying you would never be Miss America
he could've at least fucked me twice. that's just common courtesy.
We made out a little and then he gave me some weed. I would say it was a pretty productive stop on my way home
Some crack addled fool from the sketch ass motel behind the restaurant just gave me a flyer for an AA group when I was on my smoke break. I don't do mornings
Yeah you were fine except for when you peed under the bar
How do you tell a vegan you want him to stuff you like a turkey?
Actually we have similar relationship styles aka no relationship... it could work
Why is there a mildly painful bruise on my back?
You slipped off the sink last night.
Why was I on the sink......?
;)
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