Lavender boy was great at seduction and crappy in bed.
Oh well. haha. i couldn't really understand what she was saying. i just nodded a lot. i guesss she found that sexy.
gotta love spring break
gotta love slutty girls from the south
Just got off the phone with poison control. They're more concerned about our alcohol intake than that the beer bong was last cleaned with pine sol.
It was honestly like finding a clitoris in a haystack.
He kept saying "this is a bad idea" wasn't in his vocabulary. He left at 2 came back at 6 eating frozen waffles and he had a symbol, a moped mirror, and a new MacBook. I'd say he had a good time
Just saw a woman in a hospital gown with a Steelers jersey on top smoking a cigarette while hooked up to an IV outside of the hospital. I love Pittsburgh.
It was around the time I started requesting "big girl straws" from the bartender for my jack and diets, that I knew I'd probably wake up with my sunglasses on and find my wallet in the shower.
ugh... I can't wait for campus to get back. Then everyone will have other things to try to have sex with besides me.
Just so were clear I meant the head your face is on
Im gonna wear a random assortment of things for Halloween, guy with the most creative answer gets laid
Well I have rug burns in both armpits, somehow. So yes you should have been here
Just assume that every drink in that house has alcohol in it.
I gave him a handjob in the uber car. Life is really spiraling downwards.
He said we were going to get fucked up in the woods so here we are
You do realize last night you asked me if shampoo had an expiration date then cried for 15 mins when I told you it did
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