What did we do last night that was yellow?
Dude, she DOES look like she'd give good head. No bottom jaw, I checked.
his penis was crooked so i rode him at an angle. he seemed used to this.
Does boxed wine and camel crushes signify a college date? Lets hope so
Someday soon you'll wake up next to a bottle of jameson and a half eaten lean cuisine and then you'll be just like me.
I'm glad I have good healthy relationships with my one night stands
i threw up on the table at the pizza place and peed in her room mates closet. i wouldnt invite me back either
Just put a sign on a baby carriage that says "all daddy wanted was a blowjob" might get fired.
Babe. Honestly. Trust me. Your balls are not that big. And i'm eager.
I've already made the "blackout on move in day" decision
She showed up in lingerie and a turtle backpack full of bacardi. I think its love.
BTW he text me to text him later after the concert to hang out. Im prepping my bed but I should know I shouldn't count my dicks before they hatch
I want morning sex. We can incorporate maple syrup into it somehow, it'll be fun
I know what I want to do this Friday. However, it might end in me getting kicked out of an arcade and a mini golf course.
Looking back at our past texts, the minute it turned 2020 you were cleaning your house and I was dying of the cold. We were prophesying the Rona.
Randomize
