It's amazing how much jurassic park has contributed to my life recently
like literally i think i'm sweating out semen right now
did u really fuck my little sister???
im not saying yes or no but just know that my answer rhymes with "mess"
how do i word it so it doesnt sound like im asking him if he has ever been in jail.
He wanted a handjob during a John Wayne movie. I just couldn't find it in my heart to disrespect that man. John Wayne that is.
oh and then you called a time out with your penis
I have a feeling she doesn't appreciate me as a person. She only fucks me because I look like Harry Potter.
him crossdressing on the weekends is awkward but not a deal breaker for me.
I've been wearing the same clothes for 3 days and they're covered in franzia
I'm wearing fairy wings and I broke my wizard staff. If this isn't the most happy but sad moment of my life , I don't know what is.
So after I fell off 4 times we concluded I'm not allowed to ride him anymore.
some people waaaaait a lifetime for a hookuppp like this some people seeeearch forever for that one special handjobbb
Sorry. We had to leave because I knocked a guy out for saying "yolo".
I mean, what's the polite way to say, "sorry but I can't date you cuz I'm sleeping with your boss" ??
When I told the bartender it was my 21st birthday, he looked at me all pissed and said "But you've been drinking here as 21 for the past 2 years.." How do you THINK the night went?
So I take it free shots were a no after that?
Randomize
