he started yelling "this is my pussy" mid thrust
I felt like Norm from Cheers walking into the free clinic.
nah, its part of my diet to keep track of the servings of everything i put into my body
how many servings is brandon's dick?
Woke up this morning 8 levels higher in Call of Duty then when I started drinking... told you I was better when I was drunk.
My mom just found some of our lube mixed in with my box of pots and pans. I hate moving home.
Chinese roommate asked me this a.m when u left if all girls here have multiple boyfriends..
There're making snowcones with the leftover vodka from last night. This is not the time to be making up excuses!
The beers last night were like the tears from god
I want to be ashamed of the things we do this weekend
I really hope you are not drunk feeding a raccoon.
all my mom knows is what I put on facebook. So... I mean... She knows we drink a lot.
Just to an Octoberfest and a sex party. Nothing wild.
He won a jackpot and invited his ex girlfriend over to have sex on 5grand
There's a 50-50 shot that I will wake up with an ass tattoo tomorrow.
I found my wallet. Still have no idea when I put mad dog in my steel water bottle, though...
Randomize
