I think the only thing that impresses me are nice penises...and Jesus. Jesus would impress me. Especially if he walked on water again.
Letd wlk him
Lrtd walek hime
Lets wlk home,,,ther we go
How many times do you have to sleep with a guy before you get him to kiss you???
Her parents hate her and she's on like major lockdown. All her friends are in jail and she has massive pit stains. Dude... It doesn't get much worse than that.
I will fuck a handful of worms if you hold them
I wouldnt endorse that guy if he was walking in a walkathon to raise money for a disease i had
not my fault hes the one that tried to cuddle after. said he wanted to spoon away the shame.
Last time I get high to write a paper the night before it's due. "Tiny Wings and sexuality" is not an acceptable topic to for a paper. Class in 30 minutes. I'm fucked...
You sent me snap chats of you guys having sex. Like plural. It was like flip book porn, I'm traumatized.
Just visited the liquor store.... for the 4th time today. shits gonna get weird
I told her I was going to sleep early last night. I probably should not have sent that snapchat of us playing beer pong.
Had to drive my booty call home because he had an asthma attack after we had sex .. How was your night?
While buying Plan B the lady at the counter looked at me and said hope you have a successful night as I walked away in shame
He passed out in my car.
What's the problem?
HE'S STILL IN MY FUCKING CAR.
Broken heels while double fisting margaritas, picking up shirtless, bloody men and escorting them out of harms way, the meltdown when I realized I can go without a bra bc my boobs shrunk, the morning vodka red bull you were forced to drink? Which one roped you in?
Randomize
