I feel like dying is the new "adopt an african baby"
it was 6 in the morning, and you cried until i put mulan in. then you proceeded to say every word, not to mention sing along... stop drinking.
She nearly killed the mood when she said "Don't cum on my spray tan"
I dare you try and top an Eiffel tower full of Margarita
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It just gets louder and louder too...dear god. Her poor vagina.
She's the drunk girl with the air-horn and sunflower seeds.
just gonna show up naked this time. that way i dont have to worry about finding my clothes tomorrow
I just remember dedicating a shot to me giving you head so it was obviously a good night
Can I come over? I respect you, but I want disrespectful things to happen
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My gynecologist got a full view of the obviously bite marked shaped bruises on my thighs. I just kept talking about work and hoped she wouldn't judge me.
You ruined a cute cat because your lack of horniness
Do NOT approach him. He has sex with everything. LITERALLY everything, and I DO mean everything. He's so horny we once caught him with his dick in a pumpkin. A legitimate honest to God pumpkin that he bored a hole in
p.s i need to stop drunk texting my mom. she brings up text convos all the time and i have no idea what shes talking about...
I am coming home with the worst sun burn of my life, two unused condoms, and an unworn slutty dress. Worst. Bachelorette. Party. Ever.
You chipped your front tooth on the toilet bowl. Should I call your dentist?
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