the power's out. i'm smoking weed by flashlight
i wish i was dedicated to anything like you are to weed
All the walks of shame were condensed into the hour before parents started showing up. Move out day is so bittersweet
Just traded a samurai sword for some drugs. It's gonna be one random ass night
His idea of a compliment is: 'you're cuter than your friend. If you both wanted a 3way I'd do it,but I'd pay more attention to you.'
Oh and you pulled your pants down outside in front of like five people, held my hand, then peed.
Dude he was a used car salesman for his friends' penises. I know I have something here that's right for you!
Hey, the point is, I have 3 guys to fuck to get over the last one. It's my golden rule. You told me to find a hobby! It translated as "find another guy".
That is the opposite way I told you to find a hobby.
She came to class yesterday wearing a shirt saying Maybe Partying Will Help. Showed up to class today and puked three times.
Well apparently I decided it was easier I piss in the trash can at waffle house than In the toilet. Would've been ok if the trash can was in the bathroom.
at work, .. 47 yr old boss was in a fight. 2 BLACK EYES. I may get fired. I cant stop laughing
I'm pleased to know that your mom refers to me as "the ass piliager" now
His legs actually look hot in that dress. He might even make a better girl than Josh
WHAT KIND OF DEALER ONLY WORKS FRI-SUN???
Ours, apparently.
she just punched him in the balls in front of everyone and yelled "YOU SEE WHAT YOU MADE ME DO"
Apparent my drunk ass was so dedicated to taking a piss, when I walked across the dance floor to get to the bathroom a 9/10 broad tried to dance with me and I just pushed her aside, like hard enough to send her a few feet from where she was standing, pointed at her and said "Not now chief, gotta rock a mean one."
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