Maybe I lied like you did about your herpes.
I blacked out, fell off a swingset, and thought I was Liz Lemon for almost an hour.
just hang any plant up and call it mistletoe.
you hid your keys in a box of lucky charms because drunk you was apparently going to eat them for breakfast...
He kept saying it was because he was allergic to the chicken. Then he threw up on my mom.
putting weed in the twinkies box was possibly the best idea you've ever had
Her boobs felt like beanie babies from heaven
So not the biggest tits he had his cock between. He could have lied.
You missed the winter stoner olympics last night....I got the gold in blunt rolling
I know. In fairness he did tell me to throw up out his window onto his roof so I don't think he's pissed at me but I'm still mortified by the whole situation.
Floor bacon is actually really good
I’m doing tequila shots with lesbians. This isn’t how I planned my night but I’m not complaining
I rewired his car so that every time he hits the gas the horn and the OnStar turn on every time he hits the brake the panic alarm goes off.
you know it was a good night when you wake up with a medal around your neck
Guess who cheated on their SATs? Also on the same line guess who's getting in to Princeton at damn near free of charge?
Randomize
