Id settle for living inside the pirates of the carribean ride.
All I have in my fridge is chocolate cake, pizza, spicy mayo sauce, beer, and weed. I love college
someone owes me an orgasm
She wanted to watch a Baby Einstein DVD while we fucked. I'm pretty open minded but that felt a little creepy.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Was just practicing flip cup with my NyQuil cup...
I'm proud of us, I'm cleaning up the place and I haven't found a single beer can that isn't empty.
she looks like she scalped a horse for her weave
Everything tastes like hotdogs and shame.
Some lady old enough to be our mom took us home, made me eggs and he still got some. Where do I claim my best wingman/sister trophy?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
High gym went like this: I went to Dairy Queen instead.
the only good thing about going home with him was that he was prettier than me.
Get up, biotch, before I come traipsing in there to rip apart whatever god-forsaken spoon you have going on between the two of you and your dog.
I'm at a gyno in Japan. Safe to say every possible rule of etiquette is about to be broken. Buckle up, motherfuckers.
Welp just ran into my high school history teacher while buying a pregnancy test...there goes my veil of innocence in this town.
Im gonna start dry humping the manequins and see if i get fired.
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