I have my period so I felt bad and blew him with cash cab in the background. I wanted to yell out the answers but my mouth was full.
i will soon be in a relationship on fb
you!?
me and your mom. i mean, lisa.
all we need is a shotglass and a helicopter.
I bought beer tonight and got 3 coupons with my receipt. Paper towels, laundry detergent, and Advil. I wonder if Stop & Shop predicts the future or just does this with every beer purchase.
I'm stoned in an empty parking lot listening to dave matthews while looking for a lighter.... I feel like I sent this 7 years ago.
scratch lunch, i just found about 7 more dicks drawn on my back
I told him I wanted to have sex to "halleluiah", he suggested the poke-rap.
So it looks like you may be an uncle real soon. Don't ask how I feel about it and don't text me back.
We defiantly won best dressed in the ER tonight
What has two arms, one testicle and no credit card debt? This guy.
I blacked out for most of the day but apparently I still met with my prof. I made notes...
Brb crying the tears of my youth
I've been back for one day and I've already given two bjs. Improvement from last year.
I woke up with a twisted ankle and was covered in lube. Not entirely sure what happened last night
I am so disappointed that he didn't steal a Christmas tree last night.
Randomize
