I just walked through a room full of deaf people and farted i love deaf people
I dont remember anything after Tequila & Apple Juice. May have disovered the recipe for mental bleach.
i failed horribly. studying for that final was as pointless as Vinnie is to Jersey Shore
Just got back from fathers day breakfast. So hungover i couldn't eat so i just slipped my food in my pockets and threw it out while i puked in the bathroom.
I can't tell which way is up. Too many corners around his house too. An arbitary assimilation of edges.
Christ, I swear you are the high man's Dr. Seuss.
Given everything we have talked about, is it wrong to ask you to be faithful to me, despite still dating him?
I will pee on everything he values.
Congratulations, you've begun to unfuck your life.
I knew things were bad when my gyno recommended meditation.
We go out, we get drunk, we watch Star Wars, we pass out. What's wrong with this tradition?
you missed 2am bagpipes and my roommate looking hot as fuck in a kilt
UPDATE: IM NOT A TEEN MOM LETS GO PARTY
There's a quesaritto in the oven. Neither of us have been to Taco Bell in 3 weeks.
I specifically remember rubbing my eyes thinking I could definitely go blind and I really like came to terms with it I was like ok my other senses will develop this is fine
He gives me the same feeling I get when someone puts a margarita or German chocolate cake in front of me
Randomize
