the the hell do you 'accidentaily" jizz on a shirt thats folded in a drawer?
your room smells of hookers.
And success
apparently 9 shots of absynthe does not take away your skill to walk. i just woke up under a tree in some field on the other side of town with 4 hours missing.
you yelled then hung up at the girl on information bc she could not pinpoint your location and tell you how to get to dennys
Let's face it. We both have sexy parts. Why not have them touch?!
i wanna anger bang this girl behind me at work. she never shuts up with her annoying voice. but her boobs are phenom.
So one buddy got tackled at the urinals by national guard members and was arrested. Another had sex in a port o potty with possibly the drunkest girl I've ever encountered. The rest of us blacked out and won a few bets. So yes, the derby did meet our expectations.
I mean, there was frosting being put on a tunafish sandwich. Pretty sure she knew we were high.
On the bright side I got 500 American Express points paying for the abortion
GOING OUT OF BUSINESS: we're having a foreclosure party tonight...We'll also be raffling off a washer/dryer, microwave and a white tiger head.
I'm legit concerned I might pass out this weekend from having too much sex.
Is it a bad thing that I'm trimming my nose hairs in anticipation for the 8ball to be delivered?
You are cut off. Your giant penis and crazy awesome sex is ruining my body...
When campus security rolled up he stole their car and drove it like 100 feet. Then he walked up and gave back the keys because it was a hyundai.
I'm both gender and math confused
Randomize
