it was nice. we just kind of hung out. she didnt even mention the farting incident.
So... 5th graders can't whisper for shit, but apparently I have an awesome rack.
Haha. Niice.
Yeah, I didn't know whether to be shocked or flattered.
both.
Oh please. You given/recieved a handjob out in public. I think that shy ship has sailed.
Doing lines and watching a show on hot dogs around the world ... Why do I do this to myself
I think he's in need of mouth to penis resuscitation. Which I happen to be certified
Oh I forgot to tell you that while you were in the bathroom last night I made friends with a gay man named Rodger from Venezuela and he kissed me cheek and told me I "knew how to shake my thing". From now on we go to the bathroom as a team.
u r missing out we r watching a tranny direct traffic in a gstring
I swear they were about to hook up!!
I know because I was in the tub taking an imaginary silent bath. They stopped cuz I gagged on my shot.
if i'm ever face-down on the ground puking again, promise me you won't try to braid my hair?
We just reached that moment of the night when you start making cookie quesadillas. Party on Wayne
Sex on the scooter in the parking lot wasn't the smartest idea. Actual quote from the cop as he handed me the ticket and fist bumped me.
Just made a bong out of a pineapple. So yes.. And champagne is about to be popped
Am I supposed to confront my 52-year-old boss/mother of 3 about the fact that we matched on Tinder?
This is the best thing we've done since that time we started a religion
He was doing dishes, naked. I dropped to my knees and gave him head. Teamwork level- pro..
Randomize
