they just started talking about wanting to bang stephanie tanner from full house
as if moving home wasnt embarassing enough, mom picked up my laundry while i was gone. guess who needs to find a new hiding spot for his cum towel..this guy.
I have a great idea. you just need to get pregnant.
Mother, no, i will not talk about this again. Please stop planning my unborn daughters life. I will not put her in pagents. That is trashy. Stop watching toddlers in tiaras. It is also trashy. I love you.
he said he has something really important to tell me but isn't ready yet. It's either that he loves me or has herpes
#1 benefit of having an equality sticker on my car: some girl flashed me while i was driving home
the wall and i were having dominance issues.
announcing that you were the mayor of bjtown got their attention.
Bartender at the wedding asked if he was making my drinks too strong. I laughed at him.
A guy wearing a shirt that says "eat shit and die motherfucker" just held open a door for me. He's got manners.
I told him he could fuck me once he could grow a beard. Never expected seeing him ten years later with a goatee and a great memory...
Like I'm literally drinking whiskey and making a stocking for my cat right now. What. Goes. On.
You kept hiding under tables and grabbing people's legs and shouting SHARK ATTACK.
Some days you ride the struggle bus. Other days, it gets a flat, the AC breaks, and you run over a bunny.
Your pictures have evolved a lot over the years but I think your angry dick pic phase was one of my favorites
For some reason she gave me a handjob. It was all very confusing
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