i think my tv is drunk
I had a fork in my beer hand and just stabbed my tongue.
why do our vaginas work when we are blacked out?? it's just not fair.
The bank teller laughed at me....I'm apparently that fucking hungover looking
All I wanted was my $85. Judgement free. But nooooo
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I think winning the long island race means you lose at life
Now you have tequila AND fuzzy slippers. Fuck you. I want that to be MY night.
I standby a snuggie being perfectly acceptable attire for drunkenly walking your dog at 5am. Our new neighbors did not seem to agree.
My dick hurts from so many people grabbing it last night. We're not going back to that club
I have grass duct taped all over my body
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
trying to figure out why the only thing in our freezer is an expired loaf of bread, a white t shirt, and a receipt from taco bell for 37.50 from last Friday
1. My arms are cement 2. I wish dogs could answer the phone
I found him in the kitchen singing German metal into a banana while simultaneously mixing brownie batter. He didn't have any pants on.
I ditched my one night stand in the hotel lobby. How did he add me on Snapchat?
I'm asking you this because you're my dad....is coke a drug I should try?
I'm surprised this is your first encounter with pepper spray. surprised, and somewhat proud.
Randomize