it's too hot outside to masturbate.
She told me she couldnt give me head last night because she was running out of listerine
Most of the time people just stick whatever they want in my mouth. Thanks for letting me decide this time
Sorry I didn't wanna double team his sister. Having whiskey dick and watching you get laid didn't sound appealing
I respect you for how well you shave your vagina. It isn't easy and my dick faces out, not in.
Woaahhhh there! We are JUST drunk fucking. Don't call me "baby".
There's a dead squirrel in the freezer. Is that what you stopped to get out of the road last night?
I may have tried to encourage people to play a new game I invented last night. I called it Super Quarters. Like regular quarters, only using an AA medallion.
When she asked why I felt bad I said that it may have had something to do with the gin and cold pizza I had for breakfast.... And then I reflected on what my life has become.
His legs actually look hot in that dress. He might even make a better girl than Josh
Fuck. What bets did I make about "yeah when the Cubs win the World Series" that I gotta reneg on????
The sad moment you remember you have no power for a week and can't flush.....
Wrong number bro but that sounds like a damn shame.
You smell like a steam boat captain.
Whatever your on right now, I want.
G&T. Gin and tonic. GIN AND TONIC. GIN AND TONIC AND FUCKING LIME
You did what with his pubic hair?
Randomize
