Don't worry. I just took 2 benadryls and beat off. I'm practically sleep texting
blow job with a beer in the shower, I just created the ultimate day spa for dudes
I think when she wakes up, she'll either kill me, or laugh. I hope she laughs.
apparently there was a flour fight and couch sex...
Blood. All over. Pre coke adventure needs to slow down unless I'm involved
Smoked a blunt with a girl i met at the bus stop today. What you did today is irrelevant
Did copperhead road at the bar. All the girl next to me did was stare at my glorious bouncing tits. CAN I FUCKING HELP YOU?? I worked hard for these tits.
Casually on the bus at 830 in the morning with a box of cheezits and a bottle of fireball sticking out of my purse....
I totally have a huge crush on him though which is fucking up my "classy she-demon with limited feelings" vibe
Did I put a bunch of spaghetti on you and then eat it off?!?
That you did
How did delivering mac n cheese to my drug dealer become a two hour outing?
I peed in front of kids, unfortunately
Can u pick up some lemons on the way? I have Tequila and a sore throat..I need them for both
That bitch claimed that you said it was ok if she drank your vodka. Obviously she has never met you
If I'm getting through this pandemic I'm doing it drunk.
Randomize
