i just realized that we are the poor version of bethenny and jill from real housewives... and I'm jill. this is a 6.5 on the depressing scale
at least we're not in new jersey
but, i was nude. you really should respect my stupidity and delete them. please.
was stoked on phone sex until he started reciting lines from star wars
so he made me dinner last pm @whch point i askd if i could help out. he hands me his fucking laundry and asks me 2 do it
only you. it could only happen to you.
just once i'd like the "right thing" and the "topless thing" to be the SAME THING
She just sat there, all alone, with a bottle of booze. And the dog. He even looked like he didn't wanna be there with her.
I'm sorry you were dumb enough to get played by a male cheerleader
All I remember about last st pattys day was I was in a bathtub with full bubbles, fully clothed, drinking out of a flamingo lawn ornament that someone cut a hole in.
Life goal: sit on his perfect beautiful David Archuleta-lookalike face
I've been really sick the past 4 days. Last night, I actually turned down a bj. I may be dying.
I woke up with "To whom it may concern" sharpied on my dick
Every time Brady gets sacked I cum a little...
Oh hello Jordan's parents, I'm here to have sex with your son. He's in the shower? Oh great, I'll join him
you walked 30 min all the way back to the dorms at 2am?
i was more bummed that i dropped all my skittles.
Lucky bitch I'm at work covered in Jeff pee. And my hair smells like beer because I was trying to prove a point about PBR serving multiple purposes.
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