I sk at the spereo and my dad gave me and all access pass
what???
AN ALL ACCESS PASSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSS
well look at the bright side
maybe you can be on an episode of "I Didn't Know I Was Pregnant"
He came all over my face... then said "YOU HAVE BEEN ROBBED!"
What's this douchebags name?
Rob...
Do you ever just KNOW it's gonna be a good day? I mean, like in a "just found a Vicodin in the bottom of your purse" kinda way?
We saw a kid playing in poison ivy. We walked away, he'll learn his lesson.
Until last night, I had never actually thrown up ON a sandwich
thanks for being my moral compass. and thanks for not always pointing north so i can be slutty and not feel bad about it.
I awoke this morning to a naked boyfriend flying a remote controlled shark around his apartment. This is my life.
Um...any recollection of peeing in the pantry
Bring my gorilla suit and my bong.
Oh its going to be that type of weekend?
WHY DID I INFORM THE ENTIRE BATHROOM I DONT HAVE AN STD?!?!?!!
Wrestling for my wallet turned into us almost having sex in the middle of the hallway
I wonder whether Megan will forgive me if i have phone sex in her attic
I'm touching everything in your apartment with my penis.
I was so drunk, he put me to bed and went down stairs to hang out with his friends. Apparently, I was curled up in the closet, spooning the dresser when he came back up.
Randomize
