I asked about his 3 inch scar on his chest. It's from when he had to castrate a bull on the estancia. Apparently this is how good bull meat is made.
Dude, he sent me a pic of his dick. I thought dating a married man wouldn't remind me so much of high school. Seriously.
You broke into someone's house and stole a pan of lasagna.
Just showered now I smell like berries instead of shame
I knew when her mom came in spraying me with Febreeze telling me I smelled like shame it was going to be a rough day.
I think they make you graduate because you get too old to go hard and become a risk. homecoming weekend wins again. fuck.
Please tell me you're not playing strip poker with your cousins again
It was one of those "how did I get to my bed and what am I wearing" mornings.
He left me alone in a hotel room my last night in town to go home to jerk off and watch TV. So yeah, I guess we're not really friends.
I would say don't do anything I wouldn't do, but we both know I forget about my personal safely when getting laid is on the line
Also, feel like I need to install a nanny cam to remind myself what I did the night before.
We decided it was a good idea to go streaking through the campus. Everything was fine until the sprinklers turned on and we realized the keys were in his pocket.
Started dabbing in blow again because he always hated that I did it. Yuh I’m doing drugs but at least I’m doing me?
Because, after all, nothing quite says life in 2020 than doing laundry at 9:40 on a Friday morning to make sure you have masks and underwear.
If you survived your 72 hour masturbation marathon put on some pants and come over. My mom dropped off a lasagna.
Randomize
