He just left - my room smells like that cheese they put on nachos and cigarettes and beef
Yo quero taco bell
its raining. im dressed as yoda and im trick or treating alone. and i wonder why im still a virgin..
just used a paint mixing cup as a shot glass. thank u art school.
id like to point out that while i was just peeing a condom fell out of my vag.
He's taking me to Burger King to celebrate losing my virginity..
She counted 5,6,7,8 then intentionally kneed herself in the eye numerous times.
who were those guys at the table sniffing dryer sheets?
I think we need to teach you what straight means again
I think my vagina has grown over, not unlike earring holes when not used in a long amount of time.
Sometimes I love sober logical me. She makes rare appearances but when she does she shines.
You just wrote a check for drugs...pretty sure you don't have cash for beer..
Most people would probably take his lack of responses as a queue to stop. But nope, not me. I just keep going. And that's why I don't have a bf, just a little weinered friend
Nothing says "single girl" quite like Pinot Grigio and canned ravioli at 11:30 pm....
Sorry about the nipples in that snapchat. It was meant for the Australian.
he had a bulletproof vest and a pocket full of lollipops! how was i suppose to say no.
Randomize
