Wow, t9 really hates the phrase "slap her in her sanctimonious pie-hole."
My relationship with VH1 is so bittersweet
I just don't understand how my upright asian catholic roommate is getting more than me.
Ran into him today. He apologized via facebook. sometimes I hate our generation
you know that saying beer then liquer makes you sicker, it should be beer then pickles makes you throw up alot, everywhere.
Is today national text-a-girl-whose-had-your-dick-in-her-mouth day and I just wasn't aware?? I am getting the most random "just saying hey" texts ever and that's the only common denominator.
Nicole, you can't keep coming over at 3am wanting to build igloos.
Sorry but i am wayy to hungover to take mom to her AA meeting.
Wont she be proud, Hailey.
She's trying to feed the TV fried rice and screaming "FRIED RICE AND TEARS". Please bring me more booze.
We are smoking a hash blunt ... Bring your emergency inhaler
That girl from the bar sent me a text saying that she wants to wear my cock as a hat. A cock hat. Is that good or bad?
Be ready for a dog pile. On your head. With my ass.
i’m just listening to christina aguilera’s “your body” on repeat and trying not to pass out at my desk.
If I get one more "oh yaaaaa he changed your oil" texts, I'm gonna lose my shit
operation Bang Australian Boy = oh so successful
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