I have a feeling we are going to become cougars together.
then we talked for a little and he asked my last name which since I have yet to get a fb request I'm 95% sure its for a restraining order
It feels wrong to have dick mouth at a family dinner.
Sounds good. Stay safe. I'm kind of drunk in a Food 4 Less right now and I'm having the time of my life.
New low, passed out while taking a shit for an hour with my parents home, suprised they didnt notice
I found a lucrative side business - giving rides home to drunk oil executives. Very profitable.
ASS. GYMANSTICS. OLYMPICS. NOW!!!
dude my grandma just called my dealer. How does this shit happen to me
I like to play this game where I try to reach orgasm before my bathtub overflows....lost tonight.
I like how you were offering me $50 last night to come home with you to take care of you and your dog
WE HAVE WINE WHERE ARE YOU GUYS WE ARE BY THE GIANT EAGLE
To shove my foot up anybody ass who tries to start shit. I'm not takin shit this year. That and I wanna volunteer somewhere to help make a difference
That went from 0 to lesbian orgy much faster than expected...
I'm watching Trainwreck with Jeff and realizing that I'm the John Cena in my relationship.
just bought safety googles to wear so he can cum on my face and not in my eye. SAFETY FIRST!
Randomize
