I think most guys look at porn as a fallback career. I mean I know I do.
I just woke up to me licking the dognuts
You mean Doughnuts?
......No :(
I won the karaoke contest at the bar last night, when they called my name i was doing blow off the toilet seat, i thought they caught me, i didnt even know there wasa contest
But then he started to talk about his wedding he wants and I quote " and yes parts will be choreographed"
I should have but it might be too early in this fuckbuddyship to emasculate him
i watched you ride a mechanical penis. nothing is awkward between us anymore.
I feel like wearing underwear would just be poor planning
I take your lack of response to mean that your hands are taped to 40 ounces of something.
98% is good enough for me. Kinda like birth control. Worth the risk
It made me think of you cause he just screamed "CAPTAIN PLANET" a lot and kicked people in the balls.
I was mid-sentence and you stopped me and said, "Yeah.. for my vaginas sake, I'm gonna need you to stop talking right now."
I'm in the line at Chipotle thinking: "What combo will best prepare my body for the open bar I'm going to subject it to tonight?"
I just did my taxes to sober up, I'm THAT hungover
sarahs drunk and is drawing dinosaurs all over the apartment. should i stop her?
whats she drawing them with?
eyeliner
no that's ok
So far 2 of my professors caught me looking at their dicks
Randomize
