I woke up this morning in your mom's car... any ideas?
i'm starting to get pissed at how pandora is trying to force coldplay on me
Well, if your day started with strippers, then we're tied. Otheriwse, I'm winning.
oh my god. i just found my camera... on top of the bush outside of my house. never let me drink everclear again
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He kept screaming "it's so seductive" while he was humping the wall
You kicked in the door when she was blowing him. You dont remember do you?
I just want you to sit on my face and to tell you you're pretty. Most girls would leap at this opportunity.
Sent him a picture of my pregnant boobs from last year, think he'll notice the difference?
So I just went to 3 different stores because there is no way I can walk out of one store with this many reeses and still have my pride.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Are sex swings allowed in dorms
fucked a girl in Bentley hall at ten tonight, came on the carpet and I plan on doing it in another building soon. Watch where you walk
She thinks I'm afraid I'm gonna get caught in one of my lies and some of the girls I'm fucking will find out about each other. But it would be a relief to offload a few from the old crop and work in a few newbies into the rotation. The organization could use some new blood.
You kept screaming, "Fuck her right in the personality" and then kissed a guy and slapped him across the face
I just got a rock from a customer. Weirdest. Tip. Ever.
Ohhhhhh, that night......I need to stop drinking, almost all of my conversations that take place Wed thru Sun after 8:30 are one blurry haze.
Randomize