last night was a success...if success means i don't remember the guy's name and my panties are somewhere in the parking lot behind the bar
I ate one of your animal crackers. just one. ok four. but no frosting. ok frosting.
I just got wrote up for "repeatedly smelling like alcohol"
That was long passed due.
watching espn. realized that the exact place those sportcenter guys are is where I got laid on the beach last superbowl. my sex spot is broadcasted nationwide
You drank almost the entire bottle of everclear and wanted to walk around. I guess your best friends sister is a cop and you wanted her to arrest you like the lil wayne song.... so sorry dude.
What I wanna know is who took a picture eiffel towering her?
I found him in the livingroom trying to soak up broken glass with the clock from the kitchen.
you know who we are? We're the female white stoner version of Kenan and Kel.
He has a lot of emotional energy invested in your vagina.
Lmfao. We asked what you wanted to eat and you said vagina. I don't care what kind. Fresh, barbecue, roasted on a camp fire. I just want it on my taste buds.
She mentions her boyfriend one more time, I'm taking her home and breaking that shit up.
I was in the bathroom and I heard a phone ding inside one of the stalls. I really wanted to say, nature is calling, but I was still in my work uniform
That's the second time the same cop pulled me over well a different girl was giving me road head
Never in my life have I been so excited to nap as I am right now.
I smell like beef jerky
That's among the sexiest things you've ever said to me.
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