dude, you're being a jerk.
sorry, didn't mean to pull a Cheney
Apparently you walked through my house with your dress on your head
You know you're fucked up when you throw your phone on the roof of the bar to show how good the Otter Box works.
i just sent him like 8 different sexts and he texted me back about how good the hummus is that i left in his fridge.
Hey when you wake up and read this, we really need to stop pullin our dicks out when we drink dude. I have all the pics, yall are assholes
I played ping pong,drunk, with my hand instead of the paddle. And i won. I have hidden talents
I woke up half naked on the floor next to his bed, and his cat was staring at me like it had seen everything that i myself don't remember..
It's all a blur. I just remember holding some strangers baby
Yah. Thai people are way too trusting
I JUST SEARCHED GINGER COCK ON TUMBLR AND THEY'RE ALL REALLY WELL HUNG? I'M CRYING. IS THIS HOW GINGERS KEEP REPRODUCING?
WHAT IS WRONG WITH YOU?
If my dick was big enough to fuck the eye of a hurricane, I would.
So is it weird that I am super excited for my new captain america clit ring... Or is my crotch getting too patriotic
It is getting ridiculous, the elaborateness of the schemes I have to concoct so my suitemates don't know I'm pooping.
i think i left you like a 5 minute message about the mcchicken burger i was eating. I think I called wanting sex but the mcchicken burger was a lot more seducing.
Who did he bring home?
Idk. But did you see her shoe choice by the stairs, I'm really not expecting anything great.
I dropped my slice of pineapple on the kitchen floor and was just staring at it about to cry. It was really good pineapple.
Randomize
