I never doubt that you might be drinking at any moment.
Just saw an ad for "Liver-aid" how has this not become a life changing drug for millions?
woke up in Sigma Chi. In his room. they are iniating pledges right now. Holy fucking shit mother of pearl.
ahh summer, the season during which the prefix for every verb is "get drunk and"
Come my child we shall walk thru the pasture of amazing sex and corndogs. Hint:some corndogs are not corndogs.
As we were passing the joint around, people were dunking Jenga pieces in Vaseline and sticking them to the window. I also smoked weed with a girl that was in an above the influence commercial.
If we had kids we couldn't come home, get high and watch porn together. And that's like the only reason I get up in the morning
He follows more cats on Instagram then he does girls.. That's how you know your boyfriend is whipped.
I broke her handcuffs. I feel like an animal.
I'm going to a one year olds birthday party to smoke weed. What has my life become.
Turns out the dorm toilet can't take a punch. Gonna be a long year without Mexican food.
It's a mix of hot dirty sex and week old bong water
I hate when pubes grow back. My mons is a warzone.
I parked in the SAE Fraternity lot and left a note that said if you don't tow me you will all get a blowjob.
You chugged Absolut from a beer bong. Why WOULDN'T you be a champion?
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