Those kids are glorified dude-bros. It's banal.
Have you not heard of Jennifer's supreme lust for William Shatner? She wants to eat Taco Bell off of his love handles
I just named my vagina "The Boneyard"
More like "Chia Pet"
I just saw a girl in Albersons in spandex and curlers buying PBR. Only PBR.
he just called me skinny, hes either trying to get laid, or i'm going to have to marry this man
He kept saying "this is a bad idea" wasn't in his vocabulary. He left at 2 came back at 6 eating frozen waffles and he had a symbol, a moped mirror, and a new MacBook. I'd say he had a good time
It was the most graceful puke ever. I just thought she dropped something underneath the bar until she told me what happened.
You distracted them by dancing on the stripper pole, I ripped the flag off the wall, stuffed it in my pants and we were out.
They actually said and I quote "it definitely looks like your knees went through some over usage"
when seducing a hipster, do you think taking a nude pic on a lomo-camera app would increase my chances? grainy off-colored boobs and telling him how much i like reading salinger?
At what point in life does one make the conscious decision to incorporate capes into everyday life? Like, as a fashion statement?
I'm not sure how to answer that. Is it a general question or one you're wondering about for yourself? Because I don't think you're there yet.
Send me a pic of your kids to remind me why I have morals.
Just bought shock top, Trojans, double shots and baby oil. At 8 am. While the lady in front of me bitched about her expired coupons.
"We hooked up and in the morning he emailed me his mix tape"
My early Valentine's Day one night stand just took an uber home. Thank you, technology, for letting me enjoy this day in peace. 😍
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