i had to pay fifty dollars for throwing up in the limo, 60 fucking dollars to throw up all over myself
Its only tuesday and I need a dd home from work. This is getting too easy.
i'm on the subway and being revisted by the ghosts of tequilas past.
dude he was laying on two half-naked chicks, as they rubbed him down with lotion, while rolling a joint. hes like a modern-day african king
Slipping me an edible before my ochem final was not your brightest idea. Looks like I'm switching to business.
HOLY SHIT HE'S TRYING TO EAT HIS FOOT. THIS IS THE BEST DAY OF MY LIFE.
I cant do that to my vagina yet. its my prize posession.
If you ever bitch out on 72oz margarita night again, this friendship is over
Im fairly sure two chicks roofied me last night. Suckers. I love free drugs.
In last nights drunken stupor i apparently purchased a luxury travel package for two to Australia. So uh...get a passport and clear your schedule for next month
It was good. Ended up having a 3 hr make out session with her
What is this high school
There was a lot of catching up to do bro
I'm tired of looking like my mother fucked Chewbacca.
I HAD TO TAKE A SHOT OF JAGER AND SOME REDBULL JUST TO SEE IF IT’LL MAKE MY MOUTH FEEL BETTER
WTF DOES CAROLINE HAVE GLASS IN HER FACE
I feel like I had a successful night. I flashed the guy at the liquor store last night for 2 free tshirts and a giant redbull.
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