I bet the first cavemant to make fire got so much pussy
dude they were twins that means they were both only 17
guess you're going to miss out on a groin massage and a frosty vagina
her facebook's as public as her vagina
Thanks for the drunken voicemail of bird calls. Love and miss you, too.
There are work activities and non work activities and dunking my head in a bucket of ice water pulling it out and shotguning a beer is certainly not a work activity
Their engagement party consisted of them doing shots, yelling at each other, leaving for 30 minutes, and coming back with smiles.
I'd say they're off to a great start!
I figure a girl that drinks as much as I do should always have pregnancy tests on hand
I'm not leaving my family to go to a strip club on good friday.
Then he rubbed shampoo all over my arm and shouted, "Garnier FUCK THIS."
I sewed up my pants, stole his girlfriends white shirt, and went to work hungover like a responsible adult.
Riddle me this: I can stream porn just fine but try and watch my college class and nooo it won't work
Be there in 4 minutes
i just got drunk and created an entire Dr Seuss unit for my first graders.
All because of that GODDAMNED MIKE PENCE.
Turns out my mom didn't really want to know I was in a new dimension last night from smoking so much.
Randomize
