the third sister isn't as attractive as the other two but I will do her anyway to finally pull off the fabled family hat trick.
just ask for directions from a guy with a penis drawn on his window
It seems to me that once you begin comparing Jesus to hercules and calling him a super pimp you should put the wine away...
Apparently he's taking the slut he cheated on me with on a cruise for her birthday. THAT COULD HAVE BEEN ME. TITANTIC STYLE.
Although I commend your efforts to keep my penis away from her, your sister is now booty walking up my stairs. Good game though, good game.
Hootey the Owl eats a mean pussy.
Um, OK. WTF?
The guy from the Halloween party. We finally hooked up. Went down in me for 45 mins. Came 4 times.
Eating pizza and drinking wine while I watch the Victoria's Secret Fashion Show. The wine is for reducing the pain of falling asleep with more insecurities than what I woke up with.
WHAT KIND OF SELF RESPECTING 28 YEAR OLD WOMAN WAKES UP IN A FRAT HOUSE?!?'
The cougar kind?
So I'm pretty sure I told every one at the party that "I'm going to fuck my pillow pets tonight?"
I spent most of the stoned conversation with my dad proving to him that the Newfoundland is an actual dog and NOT a Snuffaluffagus-esque figment of my stoned imagination, while laughing over the fact there is actually a place caller Dildo, Canada. Have YOU taken time to be a good dad today?
That is romantic
Well sometimes you just gotta put your dicks and pizzas together to show you care
YO CONGRATULATIONS ON YOUR MÉNAGE À TROIS. YOU GO, GLENN COCO
I just wanna get drunk and watch Tarzan with you is that to much to ask?!?
I don't intentionally mean to ruin relationships for personal gain but. Yeah nah I totally do.
Haha i really think theres no better way to tell a paramedic sorry for breaking your nose than a beautiful and healthy edible arrangement...
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