So we were in the middle of hooking up when he stopped me. I thought he was having a moral dilemma about the whole having a girlfriend thing. But no. He got down on all fours, butt naked, and started throwing up and farting simultaneously. I took it as my cue to leave.
He told me he looked up all the foods that make cum taste better and he put it all on his moms shopping list. she came through my line. this ones a keeper I think.
have you seen my purse? i cant find it and my ipod is in there and that shit totally cost more than my abortion.
I feel like I'm one of those people who someone looks at and thinks "how did she get into this college"
im in the post action - pre consequence stage.
I'm in the fetal position watching the little mermaid and trying not to die. When do you come home?
I still can't get over the fact that he thinks I have my life together... That has to be one of the nicest yet most sadly misled things anyone has ever said about me
That hot guy just got to class and he's eating a bagel sandwich. I dunno which I'm more attracted to
Man. Apparently I blacked out between the 4th margarita and my air mattress. Asleep in my jeans at 10pm. Mom outdrank me again.
why are there 3 differently sized panties on our kitchen counter?
I'll have sex with you for tacos. I don't care, man.
Don't worry you weren't as drunk as you thought. You only fell 4 times.
I watched a compilation video today of a guy banging his sex doll to edm music. I just had to tell someone.
I can't decide if I miss drinking or you, they are so closely connected.
A guy I don't even know just ate me out on a washing machine at a random persons afterparty. I came as it was going through spin cycle.Just kept thinking "who does laundry during a party?"
Randomize
