Doing final review now. Then epic shit. Then going to take it. Should start it be 1030. Done by 2. Drunk by 3. Hammered by 4. Blacked out by 5. Streaking by 6. Jail sometime after that
i got lost in a forest last night. this morning I realized the "forest" was just 6 trees on campus.
non applicator tampons are so hard to put in when your drunk. i fingered myself for 10 minutes and forgot what i was trying to do.
talking dirty on facebook chat is the new phone sex.
I think i can make this amish girl legitimately hot.
Lesbians. Lesbians everywhere.
Whatever. It was high school. Back then I'd blow anyone who had enough room between their chest and their steering wheel for my head to fit.
YOU'RE HIGH AND AT THE GYM OF COURSE YOU FEEL WEIRD
My thighs feel like glass
I saw a groundgog last night outside my back door. I now have a new wedding gift idea.
I came to the party for him. I don't know where he went, but I mentioned being hungry and his housemate brought me a huge tupperware container of berry cobbler. I think I'll stay.
He's talking about me being Slave Princess Leia and how he'll chain me up. I don't have the heart to point out that he would be Jabba in that scenario...Is it bad that his lack of SW knowledge is destroying my lady boner?
Take your time. I'm mowing the lawn. In the dark. Drunk.
He wrote me a Haiku titled, "Let me touch your butt".
His flight was delayed by two hours though. I just got cock-blocked by clouds :(
I blacked out in the cab last night... Cant remember getting in the front door, also i got into bed with my grandma.
Randomize
