I was being carried out of the bar, but then my friend saw Pat who just got kicked out scaling the wall to sneak back in, so he carried me back in, sat me on the bar stool, and the bartender just let us all keep drinking.
Being persistent has its perks my friend.
it turns out jennifers body is not good to beat off to. yeah its megan fox but when she pukes up blood = goodbye boner
She's "scared" of blowjobs, so she just played with it for a while.
remember that response paper i wrote naked, at 745am still drunk with a naked dude in my bed? yeah, totally got an a- on that. and he loved my insight.
You need to stop blackout tweeting at him to have sex with you on the roof of your dorm. He doesn't even have a twitter.
I just got peed on. This karma circle is starting to get vicious.
Thanks for setting a pic of your balls as my desktop background. You'll find you're cc'ed on the mass email of it.
Fell asleep naked on the recliner spooning with my organic chemistry book. The fact that I made it through four years of college is proof that the education system is fucked.
Lets just say my thoughts when getting dressed this morning was "vagina friendly" options
There's nothing more rewarding than telling you that I fucked your dad
I'm literally in the bathroom for two minutes and I walk out to a random dude with his face in your tits
He will forever be known as the toe sucker who may or may not have been a father
I think it may be easier if I stay drunk/high til the wedding. You game?
Dude it's unhealthy how much I love vagina in my face
Lunch date was a success. And you'll be proud- my legs stayed closed.
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