Do you know that poor pathetic girl that we should be friends with
You know... If I put the same amount of effort into school as I put into giving women orgasms I would be a Rhodes scholar
You have to stop getting hammered and preaching about that mission trip to Haiti.
MEET ME OUTSIDE YOUR HOUSE IN THREE MINUTES. BE DRUNK. THIS IS NOT A DRILL.
I'm at this kids house trying to figure out if I pissed in his kitchen new years eve. Lmao, stop letting me drink.
It was like bizarre-o star trek. I shamefully went where every man has gone before.
I looked the guy across the room straight in the eyes and said, "If you were any closer to me, we'd be making out right now."
Yep. It's going to be us, strippers, and drag queens.
A glittery, gay, heavily makeuped, scantily dressed clusterfuck.
I just want to emotionally destroy him but also find out how big his dick is so this is perfect
you said I shouldn't try to fill the void in my meaningless life with dicks but i am trying and it totally works
I CAN ONLY BE THE BIRDIE ON YOUR SHOULDER WHO LEADS YOU INTO BAD DESCISIONS
I wish I had a clear image of the dude who was sucking on my tit outside the bar last night
All the movies on cable here are either porn or Bollywood. I am never leaving this hotel.
he took a fucking pitcher of koolaid and vodka to the bath with him... i wake up from my blackout to his roomate screaming cause he spilled it and passed out in the middle of a blood red tub. she thought he killed himself. jesus christ its only the first day of break and i already regret coming home
Married dude I had an affair with 10yrs ago was at table next to us at dinner last nite. My mom asked him to take a pic of us & then commented how cute he was as they left. Do I tell her he’s got a huge D too?
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