My cousin just told me i smelled good. She must like the smell of cum.
whore
Thank God they found balloon boy, I was afraid that Michael Jackson was ordering take out from heaven.
she just took a shower. i'll probs go down on her to encourage shower taking. it's like pavlov, you know?
I don't remember her name, all I remember is trying to suck the wedding ring off her finger.
Should I be alarmed that you're a regular enough at a bar to show up in sweatpants?
I Think it is all interconnected. Emma caused most of the nakedness
I just found like 5 packs of sparklers. If someone doesn't get set on fire tonight I am retiring from party hosting.
If you hit me with your dick and make light saber noises we are breaking up. I don't care if it's your birthday, you are not a sex Jedi.
So is singing the star wars theme as I put the condom on off limits?
Just had flashback to me showering u with stir fry as u rythed on the floor
My last two google searches are "shiny things" and "Ohio consent laws." you should visit more often.
If you don't fuck me hard, rough, and senseless the minute we're alone in your room, I'm returning you to the boyfriend store
Thanks for letting me pee on your bed and cry about nothing to you. You're a real friend
I used an explanation of Walking Marriages in the Mosuo Culture to successfully negotiate an open relationship. That Anthropology degree is finally starting to pay off.
YOU SHOULD HAVE BEEN THE FIRST VISITOR TO CHRISTMASLAND
Am I the only person in the world that does not give a shit about the avengers?
Randomize