Actions speak louder than words. Her actions scream crazy.
nothing cures the holiday blues like an open bar
you would not believe what I got pierced last night...
son, I feel like that is a phrase a father never wants to hear.
She needs to learn she only fits into our friendship as a DD.
Fuck. I just got my nipple tweaked by a plus size drag queen in a purple dress. I feel like I got molested by Grimace.
I'm laying here in fetal position. I feel like a traffic cone
This is the moment in my life where I take a fork in the "nice guy" road ive traveled for 23 years and fuck everything in sight that doesnt have herpes, or is in-between flare ups and I don't know about it until my dick is on fire.
I've watched enough of my roommate's imported Japanese satellite to know when the exchange students are calling me a whore.
Dave used his AAA card to get my car towed to my house so I could get drunk. Evil genius.
I'm convinced my penis is the only thing holding this relationship together.
Here's my first problem: I'm drunk
well he got me up crazy early but i got pizza for breakfast and an electric blanket to sleep with sooo he passed the one night stand test.
After a while I was so wet that I started crying. HE MADE ME SO HORNY I WEPT.
Who wakes up at 9 and says "let me send a pic of my dick to my ex gf"
Pumped to get "pass out-wake up in Berlin-buy a chinchilla" drunk?
Randomize
