you dont want to live with me, im always naked, a chronic masturbator, a bit of a voyeur and will likely touch you while you sleep. ps- i can pick locks
feel weird hangin out with you now that i've eaten your sister out
Like... Chilling at home with a movie, hang out? Or have sexual intercourse in the backseat if his car, hang out?
My god. We'll be gay porn millionaires.
Things got outta hand once she told me to water-board her with Patron.
Day drunk and a can of soup and wine straight from the bottle and alone and on my kitchen floor.
How many stacks you been grindin gangsta?
omg mom no
It's so blood brotha crip what be good
We need a bunch of roses, some chocolate, 2 cops, a mariachi band, and a thermometer
I know we said we never would. But try fucking a fat guy. He put in so much more effort and then made me waffles.
I'll never get why we had to sing the entire full house theme to the cab driver.... never drinking rum again.
after what u told me last night I think we're past the wtf zone and at this point u should just join me in wondering if my barista lover is a gay porn star
I knew my sister shouldn't have gone to the bacherlotte party. Two of the other brides maids have black eyes and my fiancé called me and asked if this is the crazy she's marrying
i just had to ask the gas station attendant what state i was in... winning at life.
im in missouri by the way.
Step one: We finally agreed on an au pair that we both wanna fuck.
Stop saving videos when you’re using my pornhub account!!! My girlfriend just tried to finger my butt because she thinks I’m into that
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