Dude i just saw JT leaving the hospital. He drove there to get fluids because he was too drunk, so they hooked him up to an IV so he didn't get alcohol poisoning. Did I mention he drove there? Oh yea and our roommates in the hospital with alcohol poisoning, she just puked up coal. So many ppl are here, it's like a hospital party, I love spring quarter!
I glued a penny on the door Tricia believes its Patrick Swayze haunting our apartment. Fuckin potheads.
I was too high to figure out which of the three doors would lead me to my classroom, so i sat down in the middle of the hallway and ate a twinkie.
it took me about 5 minutes before I knew it was in her ass. i thought the first time would be a bit more special
I wish there was a "friends who have gained the most weight since high school" filter on facebook for when I am feeling fat.
I'm just not sure how to initiate the "do you want to have sex with my boyfriend and I" conversation
I walked into my room to see them crying, watching hey arnold, and passing a franzia box back and forth...
Last night was the first and hopefully last night I will ever sleep in a hotel bath tub. Sober mind you.
I'm not even gonna ask.
I cancelled the entertainment for your b-day party.... Keep the bouncy castle just in case.
There's a guy here who is improvising his own shadow dance on a table against the wall, in case you're wondering how my night is going
Phone keeps correcting good morning to "food moaning" and I like the way it thinks.
There are far too many naked dudes in your apartment, and they aren't even watching porn. I mean seriously, they've got the Lion King on.
I swear to God...this day is one great big who's who in the land of fucked uppedness.
i found a picture from last night of you sat on the floor naked, covered in butter and crying. care to explain?
I was hoping you could tell me..
Thanks for fucking the skin off my dick
It was a joint effort between my vagina my feet and your hand you can't just blame that all on me
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