Yeah, I tried playing the "see how long he can stay inside of me" game.. And I lost.
gotta love it when a reminder comes up on your phone and u think u forgot about a meeting or something then u read it and its only to remind me to go to the titty bar at 3
Some milfs here doing some blow
Dad?
My night sucks. It's really hard to masturbate with a broken finger.
They don't exactly give out small business loans to start-up dealers
Just had a stripper snatch my glasses off my face with her ass
my tonsil wound opened up during the kegstand but i stopped it with a popsicle
We will have to go big on the 4th! Nothing says independence like the impending doom of an ankle monitor
I think he just made me trade sex for my cat.
The exact people you expect to find at a bar at 2pm are here. Come visit. We'd really like the company.
Are we going to go home and do it or do I have time to eat my nachos bell grande first?
Man, that hitchhiker cursed me.
I don't intentionally mean to ruin relationships for personal gain but. Yeah nah I totally do.
We sat at the bar and made fun of everyone around us. I'm in love
my dad just built a flame thrower.. you should probably get here
Randomize
