do you think my med school application would be worse off if "I like helping others and shit" slipped into an essay I emailed last night?
pretty sure that I broke my nose during sexting. Life is grand.
ok... i just had to be reminded that people in animal costumes were feeding me shots at the bar.
you duct taped a twenty to your thigh just in case and passed out.
You know it was a good weekend when; you leave a bi-lingual letter of apology on top of a stack of cash for hotel housekeeping.
New rule: gentleman callers are required to bring me gifts of beer when coming over to court you. Tell the monster jam dudes so they know.
I cannot be this high in this house. This house has so many of my secrets in its walls.
It really went downhill when you started writing IOU on pieces of napkins. Giving them to the strippers
Real life dumb and dumber
He did a line of coke off my stomach then flipped me over and smacked my ass. Then, while he was talking dirty to me, he told me he wanted to hire someone to clean my room. And that's when he lost his boner. Life is so hard.
I snapchatted his face mid sex. Needless to say, I don't think I'll ever see him again.
Getting high in the car with mom and the aunts during intermission for drag queen bingo. Details later.
He made a toga out of my hot pink bed sheets and cracked an egg on his head. Then he proceeded to alphabetize our DVD collection, which was impressive because I'm 99% sure he couldn't have done that sober.
SO DRUNK
PUKED IN DRIVEWAY
TELL PARENTS SORRY
You wouldn't happen to know why there's an inflatable monkey riding a mattress on my roof would you?
Pretty sure I was naked for most of the night.....success
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