nailed a girl as she was wearing a darth vader shirt. Cross that one off my list.
I showed him my bush... on skype.
This is the kind of period I feel I should name out of respect to the fact I might have just gotten lucky this time.....
he smelled like listerine and beef tacos
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You broke into someone's house and stole a pan of lasagna.
I told the hostess, two bouncers and a manager i was roofied and made them smell my beer. Turns out I just picked up some stupid bitches CHERRY WHEAT beer by mistake. I insisted they replace my lost beer.
Cuz its complicated and I hate complicated and I miss your penis
How did I end up in the pool?!
Welcome to ASU
I had very briefly met him a few years ago. My friend was tired of hearing us both complain about being horny. She figured she would fuck two birds with one stone.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You're an idiot. I have LIVED as a cautionary tale of what happens when you drink too much and stick your dick in crazy, HAVE YOU LEARNED NOTHING?
Mom and I are both drunk and walking around the Strip. It's like the hangover but with a lot more bathroom breaks.
No one understands the complete and utter debilitating 3 day bday bender.
I love the fact that my Mom has been present at 90% of my drug deals.
I'm proud of you for choosing to be an organ donor on your fake!!
I am in the parking lot of CVS in Auburn. I think a truck full of Plan B and regret just arrived.
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