sometimes i wonder what i would do without sheltered catholic girls w/ overprotective parents
never have sex?
i just made my mom cry by blowing spit bubbles.
we were frolicking through a fountain of pizza rolls. it was like the best dream i ever had
She's sitting on the couch buck naked, eating a cupcake for dinner. I'm breaking new ground as a parent here.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Shaking her cervix like it's the hottest ticket around
I definitely didn't wake up this morning thinking "i wanna get gang banged today"
I found what appears to be half an E pill and part of a tooth in my pocket this morning
What part of don't open in front of your kids didn't you understand? Astroglide, magnums, fuzzy handcuffs and a blindfold are going to be hard to explain as friends presents.
Please come collect your inebriated significant other. He just sleep-farted and scared my cats. Please hurry.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Honestly I volunteered because the email made it sound like it was a once in a lifetime opportunity to be a sexual spy kid.
Is it weird to befriend your older alcoholic landlords?
I JUST FARTED SO LOUD AND HARD I IMMEDIATELY TASTED IT
Sometimes, being an adult means buying a bottle of whiskey after work and live tweeting the commercial breaks on food network.
Why do all my exes just become Tom Hanks in Castaway?
That's a fantastic question. And an odd set of criteria to meet if wanting to date you.
My ex's sister asked me to be her date to Thanksgiving. Should I go?
Threesome!
Randomize