i felt like we were having sex on ultimate fighter, and people on the outside kept yelling ELBOW ELBOW! KNEES KNEES!
Is there some kind of disinfectant spray people use? Why would anyone want to eat ass??
You poured sparks in your panties and NOW you're wondering why you have a UTI?
your all-time low pick up line was when you asked a girl "Are you rock-staring at me?"
I'm pretty sure you can't just waltz into a walk in clinic and ask them to de-baby you.
his grandma walked in on us. twice. and he was truly fucking surprised when i put my pants back on.
The night started going downhill when I set my foot on fire.
I only feel half bad for cheating on him because while we were fucking I was given great relationship advice and now I'm ready to work some things out.
There is a positive side to a sinus infection. Exclusively cowgirl sex. I've convinced her I'd pass out if I had to do the work.
one of the RAs is here. he told me his name is optimus prime and then took his shirt off and fell down
Because you work where i will be drunk tonight I'm asking you. Is a shirt required on Halloween?
Happy 4th. Did you guys get your syphilis thing taken care of?
Waffles and pussy, what else is there?
There is no issue with you seeing me...morally or ethically. we'll update your resume anyway. I really need to have sex with you later. Really
I fucked his roommate. And that roommate's best friend. And my roommate. And my roommate's old roommate.
i'm bowing down, but slow your roll.
Randomize
