Its like I was sleeping with a kid. His gum fell into my hair while sleeping and he just wanted to cuddle.
Its pretty simple actually, if she texts me either Grr or Rawr it means she is horny and wants to bone. its a perfect system
Our dealer is pledging my frat. When he come to sell me weed I make him take out the garbage.
I got stoned in my snow covered car and pretended I was burried alive
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
If I wake up with an unknown penis in me one more time I am literally going to press charges to the makers of tequila.
Your girlfriend is in jail- I've just never been able to use that in a sentence before. Thank you both!
im so proud of her that she got shit faced finally. This must be what it feels like to see you kids get their diploma or some shit.
I was just hoping for a dick worthy of his established age.
These bubbles make my penis feel like it is resting on clouds.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Do you have pictures of my pancakes
I need to show the world
They are the pancake equivalent of eventual wife
you said "i met the love of my life tonight" and i said "me?" and you said "no, hummus"
I am descending into that finals week rage fueled by ramen, mountain dew and bad sex is what's up.
Does she know she is talking to people who slam shots of fireball and chase it with vodka?
I'm still amazed at how you managed to get Doritos in my damn front pocket without me noticing. I got crumbs everywhere.
I'm really busy with my period
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