We found an eightball on the ground last night. I mean, really, who does that?
brass monkey on radio. cant stop dancing.
I'm gonna play a drinking game called "Sarah takes the train"
sooo... you have no idea who nailed their tubesocks to my wall?
He's trying to impress me with how much money he makes. How does he know me so well?
We are getting high tomorrow and being statues at the cafeteria. Come find us.
ahhhh just came to creep and you're not there AND your thong you were wearing last night is on the floor..someone has some explaining to do
My love will cover her like lulu lemon yoga pants. Casually supportive and always complimenting your Ass.
Might as well permanently tattoo lush somewhere on my body and show it to people when I decide to drink so they won't serve me.
For future reference. Do not congratulate the bar tender at oscars she is not pregnant she has just gotten fat u will get a shot thrown in your face
Why did you fed-x me a peanut butter sandwich?
It seemed like the thing to do. There's popcorn on it too.
STOP smoking sooo much weed. Damn
He whispered "Are you feeling it now Mr. Krabs?" when he was inside me. That is NOT my fetish.
man sorry about that. It's like god was willing me to be an asshole. I haven't filled my quota for the day
Ik youre sleeping but fyi its 5:32am I'm sitting in the middle of the road bra less and shoeless with boxers in my hand and no ride. Shits real crazy.
Tbh I’m not a vibrator enthusiast
But I am godly
Randomize
