You know if a vagina was a face, it'd be ugly as hell...
Is my tampon string too long for this dress?
Any time you start making pro wrestling references before 10 PM I know that I'm breaking up a fight between you and some muscled up frat boy you call Hogan.
Tiger Woods should have just walked in, gave everyone a high five, and left.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he emptied an entire bag of goldfish onto the bed and rolled around yelling the theme to jaws trying to eat them
I just made my bed perfectly before realizing that I'll be too drunk to appreciate it tonight
I asked you how much you drank and you replied with "I don't know what kind of toothpaste I use."
I mean, how many people can say they helped surgically remove something from their body? Other than the guy that got his hand stuck under a rock and cut it off. Doesn't count
Is it bad that I see a party full of girls I know he has fucked as a challenge for me to be the one who ends up in his bed?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
See this is why people shouldn't jump into marriage. See what type of drunk you're engaged to first.
Everyone at work loved my story about sobering up in a river with no bra on.
Go tell your boss to go fuck himself because you have beer and doritos and zombies waiting on you
If only I could bank my drunk hookups for a sober IOU.
YOUR TO-DO SEX LIST CANNOT CONSIST ENTIRELY OF MY THREE BEST FRIENDS
and their significant others
AND THEIR SIGNIFICANT OTHERS
If its not for food we ain't going out.
Randomize
