i told him i was gay. he said that gay guys are supposed to be pretty.
Im doing kagels to the beat of Christmas music... "Jingle Bells" is hard. Try it.
Why am I getting the stink eye from these people? They're acting like BYOB isn't kosher in a laundromat.
And there I was, sitting Indian style on the kitchen floor, my fingers covered in peanut butter.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Woke up to pictures of me cooking wings with a blow torch.
ex-cheerleader. ex-gymnast. ex-dancer. i dont even know who to go for tonight
I think you're going to have to drive me to white haven. I don't know if my brain can handle having my mom drop me off at a strip club.
I disagree, if your last name is Weiner then the sending of dick pics should be mandatory. I'd give him a pass.
We got banned from that Whataburger for life. WHATABURGER. Which is saying something. They deal with drunk dumbasses every night.
Tequila happens.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm going to avoid eye contact because my old high school English teacher is not who I feel like seeing after I just had a dick in my mouth
I may or may not have definitely said the words "how do I put this beer in my purse without looking like an alcoholic" last night.
SORRY FOR THE CAPS. I DIDNT CHANGE IT IN TIME AND ITS TOO FAR TO GO BACK NOW. PS IM SUPER BAKED
Your vagina needs to teach my vagina its ways.
he woke up this morning, drunk as fuck, butt ass naked, and he had left grandmas gun on the counter and doesn't know why.
sam was dropping a deuce next to me. wrote me a note that said "glad we shared this experience." passed it under the wrong stall. the other guy picked it up. that's all I know so far.
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