honestly, who buys weed with an unemployment check?
you.
oh yeah. preciate
I missed Saved by the Bell this morning, but Ashley in a later episode of Fresh Prince is keeping the morning wood alive.
If I were a woman I'd fill my water bra with liquor so that I could sip on it throughout the day.
i'm dressed up like the coppertone baby and being hit on a guy in a monk costume. the irony is not lost on me.
so this guy comes in from the patio covered in puke and says "we gotta go"...Yup u need to go is an understatement
So currently I have a block of cheese duct taped to my air conditioner in lieu of a fridge.
Just remembered I hit myself in the face with a bottle then did the nose test and decided I was still good. Don't think anyone noticed.
I think they were cool with it, they should have know if I was the host of the baby shower it was going to involve a keg and jager shots.
If I'm going to start compromising my butthole it's going to be for much better drugs than a ventolin
I just rolled an Obama blunt and a Romney shame joint for tonight. Vote wisely.
Wow has his pick up routine ever gotten bad. He is trying to use cheese as a way to flirt with the waitress
Oh man, he played the Harvarti cheese card and it didn't work. Now he is flailing
Some rando guy literally just put my shoes on and tied them for me because I'm drunk... Is this what it feels like to be a princess?
HE STARTED HUMMING THE THEME TO STAR WARS!! WHILE I'M SUCKING HIS DICK!!
Threesomes are not as fun as you'd think. I left with a black eye and I'm not sure who's to blame.
Hooked up with another cop last night. Think I am renaming my vagina "dispatch"
Randomize
