i wants your nipples near my face. PLEASE????
So are you the girl that gave me herpes? or was that the girl from the night before
that's like riding a pigeon when you could fuck a bald eagle
All he wants to do is masturbate while I sit there with my big toe up his ass that is not even the worst part of it.
God gave him joint rollers for hands
Let's just say, at one point i got woken up at 4am by a naked guy who was offering me steak, in a cup.
The bar owner gave me permission to push people into the pool. I'm never going to leave Los Angeles
couldn't find my pants so i stole a pair of shorts from the passed out kid in the corner.
She was so morning drunk she asked the lady at brueggers for a bandaid and my self respect back
That girl is nothing but trouble. She's 40% red hair and 60% daddy issues.
We proceeded to buy tattoos from the dollar store and interpretive dance to of monsters and men, it's safe to say he's my new fuck buddy
Tell her this is the Disneyland of penises.It's a magical place everyone should visit once in their life.
holy fucking shit get me out of here. even the babies are wearing beanies
Headphones came off my phone same time as The Weeknd sang "Who's gonna fuck you like me?"...Everyone at work heard it.
I snuck a teenager into a club last nite, I felt like such a criminal. It was Awsome
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