I showed him my bush... on skype.
member when we used to take shits together before volleyball games?
At barnes & noble, drinking beer out of thermoses, lookin legit.
I just gave my patient permission to swallow while pregnant. She was so embarrassed to ask...but her bf was really happy with the answer.
Waking and baking has revolutionized how i brush my teeth. Seriously up to like 25 min everry morn. Highly recommend
you described his penis as a "portable fishing pole"
Clusterfucked is a frowned upon word in work related emails
Dear Penis Owner...our records show that you are overdue for servicing...please contact our friendly associates to schedule a thoroughly satisfying experience today...operators are standing by...
At some point i could of swore that you were in my bedroom riding a manatee last night..... I like my new dealer
Well shit, I would've slept with him if I knew he was gonna be in the draft.
He must've been a bear in a previous life. My nipple is bleeding. Shit's sensitive.
When I type "sleep" my phone suggests "with Trevor". My phones an asshole.
You stuck your false lashes to your upper lip and then asked that ONE kid with facial hair if your "mustaches could touch" as an excuse to make out.
Im 76 percent sure I took a fully clothed shower last night.
cinco de mayo stole my toenail
cinco de mayo stole my virginity.
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