I wishh there was a lost and high section in walmart cause I would be there right now
Fuck 8am classes
Dear Jesus I'm gonna throw up through my eyes
i feel like im playing gay clue. i have to figure out where i am, who took me home, and what he put in me
I realized i make the same noise when i get a blow job as when i eat pizza
And with me just getting pulled over and you maxing your card out on tennis balls I don't know if we can afford it
when I was too drunk to walk on my own two feet, he stole a shopping cart from the grocery store at the corner and proceeded to wheel me back to my apartment.
Then he tucked me in, gave me a goodnight kiss and slept on my sofa. I woke up this morning and he was making waffles.
he is a god among men.
I don't like him near enough to give up day drinking AND my prostitute costume
he fed me chocolate as I gave him a handjob. I felt like a princess.
I would have dumped her already but between the 4 hr bjs and our shared love of enjoying thirsty Thursday naked while watching basketball I'd say its the best shot at love ill ever have
You can't just beat off while driving someone else's car. Thats a rule
Thats your rule and this car is nice
Yep if he's taking selfies he's probably on drugs again.
Anyway, it's clearly a shapeshifting vagina/AT-AT, which I never said I was SEXUALLY attracted to. Just that I liked it.
Facebook is for cat videos and having better lives than people from high school, period.
She slapped a big dramatic bandage on my arm and people started buying me drinks...I plan on wearing a full body cast tomorrow night.
Apparently his ex was into edging and did it to him so much that it takes forever for him to cum
I hate you and your multiple orgasm sexcapades
Randomize
