I want to take things slow emotionally, but fast physically
Why is it that you only get to have sex when you haven't shaved your legs in six weeks and are wearing period stained granny panties?
When he was fingering me, it felt/looked like he was digging around for pocket change.
I told him I'd give him a BJ if he admited Hanson was good.
His hospital is closing...I consider it "sorry you're losing your job" sex.
All I can tell you is you will need a rain slicker for tonight's festivities. Any clothes underneath would be highly frowned upon as well.
i just got on a party bus. i think i left my belly button at the bar.
woke up outside on the porch naked surrounded by beer cans with a towl around my neck. i must be in heaven cause i've never seen this place before.
While we were driving she just screams from the backseat: MUMFORD AND SONS DROP THE BANJO and made what were meant to be banjo sound effects
Would it be a good deed to leave a 32 pack of bud light next to a bum sleeping in the park?
I shall welcome him into my body with an open liver and completely lay down all chance of resistance. Sweet Zeus, please take me to Mt. Olympus and share all that is divine. I promise, the secrets will be safe with me
I just found my lube on the ground next to my bed. I would pay money to find out what the fuck happened that night.
He kept squeezing my butt and telling me how smart I was
Like I don't care that he's a drug dealer, but I have a problem with his inefficient and ineffective business model.
Just come home. We will have sex and Taco Bell. I'm feeling wild, I put on temporary tattoos.
Randomize
