Hey bro, did you ever hear from the background investigator that i was supposed to bang?
She started to rub her ass on my shoulder and i instantly thought "i am going to get E. Coli"
He pretended my clit ring was a door knocker.
I woke up to him using my debit card to order PPV porn and Jimmy Johns. I don't even know his name.
Blacked in riding a tandem bicycle with a stranger. We stopped for hot dogs.
I'be color coordinated the clothes in my closet and my underwear drawer. I'm like an advertisement for house arrest. Help.
I get hit on by the prison guards every time i go to see him. Seriously.
Dude, I puked in the stall for God knows how long. Halfway through, a kid sits down in the stall next to me and starts jacking off, i heard the porn on his phone and everything. so FYI, the middle stall is where good nights go to die
btw you left your chapstick on the nightstand and bruises on my body...
gifts from me to you. you're welcome.
That guy was cool until he tried fighting that dude in the bow tie. I need better wingmen.
HE HAS CHALLENGED MY BADNESS. I MUST CONQUER ALL THAT QUESTIONS MY POWER. BRING FORTH THE TIT PICS.
I have no clue how you survived last night but I applaud you. 21 body shots off 9 bodies in under four hours has to be a record.
Yeah last night got weird fast. No lie, a kid pulled a butt-plug with a tail out of his ass.
Found your brother. He was passed out in the tub holding a bottle of Shatto milk wearing nothing but his tighty-whities.
I am going as Rudolph for the Christmas Eve furry orgie.
Is Santa taking the sleigh of slutty reindeer around the neighborhood again this year.
Yes. Several neighbors have requested it.
Randomize
