so i replaced his speed with my ped egg shaveings
dont u have athletes foot?
I found a picture of my kindergarten class. Now you can see whose peer pressure I succumbed to.
Dude. No way. She insults the term butterface. She's a butternothing.
I need to get a life, I am either crying at every glee episode or just wanting to blow rails off photos of us
found out that hot proper business chick in my class A) did a bar crawl last 2 night and still showed up to class and B) is 19 and C) so not as proper as I thought D) is single. How the fuck does that work? Freaking superwoman.
All you need to do now is invest in a Speedo and start going door to door.
What I do when I'm blackout drunk is none of my business.
He wanted me to come over on Christmas...inviting your fuck buddy over for the holidays is just something you don't do.
You gave him that scrunchie you made and called it your "sex offering".
Nothing says "happy birthday" like a negative pregnancy test
he's like crack. I can't be in the same room with him while drunk and not do him.
Bitch how dare you drink my dos equis
Ccatlin cimbing thru th sunroof plz come
It's nice doing the walk of shame at 530 am, the birds are chirping, campus is empty, and it's dark so noone can see who the Fuck you are
so on the street and some kid is chanting "cheeseburger, cheeseburger, cheeseburger!" while pumping his fist in the air. i agree.
Randomize
